DID Dinosaur!

Last updated:
Reason for update: Wrote original post
One who updated: Bunny
-------------------------------

As a system we love dinosaurs, and the stegosaurus is our favourite.  One of our system friends drew us a Dinosaur! 

The stegosaurus of Dissociative Identity Disorder, we love this dinosaur SO much! We thought it was worth sharing with you all.

Who would I have talked to?

Last updated: 9 March 2021 9:25am
Reason for update: To amend answer to last question
One who updated: Bunny
-------------------------------

Last night (25 Jan 21), questions about our system were asked. Mainly people were asking, "who would I have talked to?" Some have said that they felt that some of my replies, and/or tweets didn't sound like me. A system meeting was held earlier this morning, to discuss how best to answer these questions. This is the resulting blog post, and it is a bit of a long one.

Dietary/Nutrition 
As a system we are Vegetarian, with some who are Vegan.

If you talked to me about Dietary and, or Nutrition, it was either Missive or Sinew. These two are our resident Vegans in our system. They are knowledgeable about Dietary requirements, and Nutrition. More so than me. If you have had an in-depth conversation about this subject, it was probably with one of them. 

They also don't fully understand why anyone who is Vegetarian/Vegan eats what they call fake meat. So if you have ever seen me, call alternative meat, fake meat, it was either Missive or Sinew. In this respect, they are/can be, blunt. So much so, that they don't care if they offend someone. They believe, that if you are a Vegetarian, you should not eat any meat or fish, or by-products. If you are a Vegan, you should not eat anything that is not allowed under this dietary requirement.  They have mellowed somewhat, in regards to some not being a strict Vegetarian in regards to by-products, but only slightly. 

A tip for you, if you ever find yourself talking to Missive, or Sinew about this subject, and they are being blunt. Or being confrontational, just say that you have a mostly Vegetarian, or Vegan diet. They will accept that, and move on. 

Divination/Pagan/Witchcraft/Spiritual/Religion Matters
There are a few in our system, who are more knowledgeable about this subject than me. One of these, who I know, has spoken to others, is Skull. If you have talked to me in depth, about Divination, Pagan, Witchcraft, Spiritual or Religion matters, it was probably with Skull. His knowledge about such matters is extensive. If you have talked to me about any aspect of these matters in depth, and I have for example, given you alternatives that you can use. It was Skull you were talking to. 

Also, as side note, regarding Skull. He is VERY anti-drugs. His stance on this is clear cut. There is no budging on this. Over the years, he has softened somewhat in the use of medical cannabis, for the aid of pain relief etc. 

On the flip side of that, he has had a heavy influence on our system regarding drugs. As such we have never taken any drugs, that were not prescribed, or painkillers that were needed for the body. If Skull had his way, we would not be taking any drugs at all. This, at the moment is not able to happen, he knows, and accepts this.

Influences of Alters
Some tweets, I have done may have appeared childlike, or I would have tweeted <3 yr old grin>. Those would have been influenced by one of the Littles. The <3 yr old grin> reply, would have been influenced by Radish. She is 3 years old, and like all Littles, she is curious in nature. So if you've ever seen me reply, with "why, why, why" etc, high chance that there was a little nearby. There are strict rules in our system regarding the Littles. This is to keep them safe, so they would not have tweeted directly, but indirectly as an influence through me. 

Technology, including Coding
If you have ever had an in-depth conversation with me, regarding Technology, including Coding, it would have been with Ború. He is the "tech support", in our system. Ború is also knowledgeable about Technology, including Coding, in general. He knows more about such matters than me. 

Organising
If you have ever had an in-depth conversation, with me about getting organised etc, it was probably with Helix, or Autumn. Who are the Organisers of our system.

Finally, if I have ever been extremely cheeky, or made you laugh/smile, when you were down.  There is a high chance you were talking to Kieran, Killian, or Joker.

Q & A

Last updated: 13 February 2021 8:38am
Reason for update: To add more Q &A
One who updated: Bunny
-------------------------------

I shared that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), on twitter last night (24 Jan 21). Understandably, I got a lot of questions, so I thought I would do a blog post, to answer them all in one place, for people. 

Q.  Do you have different twitters for the different members of your system? Or would that be too complex?
A. No, we don't have different twitter accounts for everyone in our system. There are way too many in our system, to have this. It would get very confusing, too quickly. 

Q. How do will we know who we are talking to?
A. Take it as read, that you are talking to me, Bunny. If anyone else in our system has taken over, they will identity themselves. 

Q: If I was talking to someone, other than you, I would have known. Wouldn't I?
A: No, not necessarily. It is possible, you have interacted with someone else from our system, and not known. 

Q: Not really a question, but this makes sense! Sometimes, I have thought your tweets/replies were not really like you. But didn't want to say anything.
A: Yes, that would explain it, you were probably talking to another in our system.

Q. I was wondering if in your system, the body belongs to Bunny and she allows others  to use it/otherwise it when Bunny needs to go inside, or if the body is collectively owned by all of you.
A. The body, is not seen as belonging to me, Bunny, or anyone. The outside body, as what is seen, is just a vessel. Which is why it is called the body. I don't allow others to use the body, it happens when I go inside, and another fronts. 
We have rules in our system, regarding the body.  Other systems calls such things code of conduct or other wording, for our system, we call it rules. For example, do no harm to the body, do not get the body modified without the system's approval, as this is considered harming the body. 

Q. I'm guessing that everyone in your system isn't always active at once? My initial thoughts on reading you have more than 80 people was that it must be very tiring and noisy but I'm guessing everyone talking at once would be an equal irritant to everyone so some are quieter?
A. No, everyone is not active at once. Some like Meigh love to explore, but also sit in the rain. He finds it calming. A lot keep things ticking over, so to speak, in the background. To make sure our system runs smoothly. 

As a system we are sensory sensitive. So it is not noisy, though sometimes the Littles can get noisy, but that noise, we don't mind. Sometimes I can hear things going on inside, other times not. Not everyone talks at once either. 

For example at system meetings, you can only talk if you are holding the talking bear. Talking over others is not allowed, it is classed as being disrespectful in our system. And falls under not harming others in our rules.

Q. Are there ever disagreements? Like, do you ever have a person act outside of agreed system rules, or does everyone generally rub along?
A. Yes there are disagreements in our system. Think of our system, like a family. There are disagreements in a family. We don't have anyone who acts outside of the system rules, that would be considered harmful to the system. It is a hard no. It does not happen. If anyone has a problem with a rule, a system meeting is called. & then things are talked through. The system rules, are often reviewed. Our system is dynamic, like a family. 

The main rule in our system, is to keep everyone safe. Everyone is equal in our system (though there is a bit of a hierarchy, but everyone is still equal). 

Q. What is fronting?
A. I, Bunny am fronting, one who is in front. When someone else in our system has taken over, they are fronting. I am the Main Host in our system, so I am fronting the most.  Like the other day when Jester took over, he was fronting, when I was inside.

Q. The Littles and one of the Teens 'trauma holders'. Are these the ones that helped you through the tough times and there for are the trauma holders?
A. Trauma holders are ones who hold the trauma. So the trauma doesn't affect me, or rest of the system on a daily basis.  In systems, it is common for them to be Littles or Teens, or both.

Q. What do you mean by singlet?
A. Singlets means those of a single mind. As opposed to those of us who have systems. It's just a term that those of us with systems use, to differentiate between those of single minds, and those who have systems. 

Reflections 1

Sometimes living with Dissociative Identity Disorder is difficult, to say the least. But... but when I was diagnosed and it was explained to me what it was, suddenly everything made sense. The best way I can describe it is like this, before I was a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces, the diagnosis, inserted those missing pieces and made the jigsaw puzzle complete. In a way made me complete, I know that sounds corny, but, well, it is the best wording I could think of.

I always thought there was something different about me, that I was not like other people. My brain worked differently from others, the thought process was different, EVERYTHING was different. And...yes, then all of a sudden it made sense.

Of course I would be different, of course I would think differently. Dissociative Identity Disorder means this, and SO much more. My alters, when they take over, think differently to me, so this makes sense. They, my alters, are a part of me, and I am a part of them. Yet they are their own identities, in their own right. Yes, I am aware it does sound confusing, but it is confusing. I am, myself, still getting grips with it all.

 -Bunny

The aftermath of a formal dx

I got my formal dx in mid October 2019.  Things have changed for me and my alters, but in a positive way.

We have become more aware of each other. We are also more open to each other. I think safe to say that the formal dx, gave us all validation.
I am understanding my alters more, they are understanding me more and they are understanding each other more. We are more open with each other which is good.

It is like getting a formal dx, turned on a switch inside. Those that were hidden or quiet to me anyway, have become less hidden and are talking more. Alters that were not keen to come forward, are now coming forward.
This is good, as it is creating a harmony for us all. Things are also changing on the inside, but it's good. They are good changes, changes that will benefit all of us.

I feel a lot more confident in me, in who I am. I feel more relaxed in me, if that makes sense?

- Bunny

Song Lyrics 1

Recently I started listening to a band again. And the song lyrics spoke to me. Spoke to how my alters are with me. How they have always been with me, being a protective and calming influence on me.

The song in question is:

Bleed For Me, by Black Label Society.

Bleed for me, I've bled for you
Embrace me, child, I'll see you through
Bleed for me, I've bled for you
Embrace me, child, I'll see you through
I'll see you

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It spoke to me, because I have an early memory as a young child of an alter coming to my aid. And their words were very similar to the lyrics of the above song.

- Bunny